Nobody wants to be a bad communicator. Most people are insulted if someone tells them they are difficult to understand. At the beginning of my seminars, I discuss the basic skills needed in every negotiation. Then I ask students to rate themselves on these skills. I have never had anyone in any seminar rate themselves on these skills. I have never had anyone in any seminar describe himself or herself as a poor communicator – even those who say that communication is the area that they need to work on the most.
When the other party is not being clear, your job is to steer that person toward concise communication. Coax from your counterpart a clear statement of intentions, wants and needs. Your technique for acquiring this information depends on the type of person you are dealing with. Here are a few techniques that will help you effectively communicate with challenging people:
ü Listen up to a point. You are listening especially for a good point to break into their discourse so you can bring them back to the topic.
ü Be assertive when you interrupt. Not impolite, but firm.
ü Your first statement should be a validation, “Yes, you’re right. Now, as to the purpose…” That’s how you get people with this type of communication pattern on track.
ü Concentrate and stay focused. This is hard work.
ü Be appropriate but keep pressing with your own specific questions.
Happy Negotiating,
Michael
For additional negotiating resources, please visit www.fearlessnegotiating.com
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